Once, I shamelessly sent a text to a guy that said, Show me your soul instead of your selfies.
Asexpected, he quickly replied with a confused Lolwhat?!
Although my text might have been worded strangely, or maybe was just plain weird, my underlying message still stands. I wanted to see more of him, but what I wanted to see had nothing to do with his looks.
I wanted to know his biggest secrets, his greatest fears, his hopes, his dreams and everything in between. Instead, I received short and shallow texts every time I tried to dig a bit deeper. I received selfies on the regular with an annoying text urging me to send one back :). As someone who values conversation and connection, it wasnt long before I became bored and frustrated with him entirely.
Now, some could say that maybe he wasnt that into me. Maybehe didnt put any effort in getting to know me inside and out simply because he didnt want to. Both of these explanations couldquite possibly be true. However, this wasnt an isolated situation. This continued to be a pattern for me with men.
I would talk to someone new, and the focus of our text messages and conversations would revolve consistently around appearances:Oh, youre laying in bed? Send me a selfie!
Time and time again, men would inquire about my nighttime attire instead ofthe thoughts that kept me up at night. Each time, I was ready and willing to baremy soul in exchange for a small glimpse of theirs, but eventually, they dipped out. My deeper than what meets the eye approach may haveintimidated or boredthem in some way.
This annoying and destructive phenomenon continues to puzzle me, a perpetually single woman in the modern dating world. I understand that men are visual creatures, but is it trulysilly of me to desire a man who longs for more than a pretty face and a constant flow of selfies?
Am I ludicrousto want to develop a meaningful connection? Is it weird that Id rather be asked for my number instead of my Snapchat username? Are we meant to start accepting everything we see for face value?
I cant help but be concerned and annoyed when a mans chosenmethod of flirting is to send mea stream of selfies.Pictures may say a thousand words, but a little personality every now and then wouldnt kill you.
No, Im not saying I dont enjoy a selfie of a love interests smile once in a while. Im just saying what Id really love to know are the reasons behind that smile. Id rather see your unfiltered self instead ofyour #nofilterselfies.
Naturally,its liberating to share a selfie when youre lovingyour #OOTD or if youre feelingextra cute. Whats even more liberating, however, is sharing heart-to-heart conversations and forming intellectual connections: the profound, heartfelt and stimulating Id choose talking to you over sleep connections.
If we settle for less and dont do more, we wont get more, and eventually, well stop expecting more. We mightsit around in a wasteland of snapchats settling for someone who isnt willing to give more. And believe me when I say some of us will start to want more.
Part of me blames Snapchat, Instagram and other selfie powerhouses for the death of the art of conversation.
Instead of coming up with a clever way to express our interest in someoneorcharming someone with our wit, we show desirethrough the click of a button. Instead of tapping into our hearts and emotions, we tap the heart emoticons on our devices.
As much as Id like to blame Snapchat and Instagram for essentially replacingconversation and romance, no one is forcing us to use them. We arent requiredto abandon romantic effort, but rather, we choose to. We willingly use social media as a crutch.
With reliance on social media comes the loss of our ability to truly be social, which deprives us of more than we realize. Why use genuine words and thoughtful actions to get someones attention when a flirty selfiesupposedly does the job more efficiently? This laziness bids farewell to soulful conversations that never even hadthe opportunity to form.
Snapchat is fun and all, but we shouldnt relyon it as our main method to flirt and communicate.
Instead of all the Snapchatting, can we start soul-chatting? Its time to start sending selfies of our souls. Those soul selfies will last longer than any Snapchat picture ever could.
Originally found athttp://www.elitedaily.com
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