There is nothing more precious to me than girls’ night.
Speaking as a perma-single lady, girls’ nights are basically the bread and butter of my social life. My girlfriends are my lifeblood.
Frankly, the moment you f*ck with girls’ night, I no longer want to f*ck with you.
Lets get totally real, theres a code surrounding nights out with your lady friends. Its, like, the rules of feminism.
Ladies, print out the commandments below. Stickthemon your fridge. Forward themto your friends.
Next time you and your girls are out, you’ll have backup when youre neck deep in some shady business.
1. Thou shalt always hold up your girls hair if shes puking.
Actually, scratch that. She doesnt even have to be your friend.
If a girl doesnt have someone keeping her curls out of her face as she upchucks her awfuldecisions, you have to be there to help.Its a rule of basic human decency.
Seriously, this is how friendships are made.
I dont know how many times I’ve held some random girls hair out of her face in the bathroom line, only to go out with her a couple of weeks later to a bar that doesn’t knowher as Puking Paula.
2. Thou shalt always be a wing woman.
If your girl found a hottie, its your job to deal with his friends while she isolates him.
It doesnt matter if his friends arent exactly tens, if they cant talk about anything except their finance jobs or are the most insufferable idiots in the hemisphere.
You pretend to give a sh*t and distract them for long enough to help your girl get some D.
3. Thou shalt always tell your girl if her beer goggles are on too tight.
Its your responsibility as a woman to keep your friend away from the twos and threes, guiding her toward the higher end of the spectrum.
If she starts getting a little too close to a guy who looks a little too much like theSlut Whisperer, its your right to grab her.
Whisk her off to the bathroomandproceed to splash her face with water until she realizes what a psycho she is.
4. Thou shalt not talk about boys all night.
Yes, I know your douche of an ex-boyfriend is a walking piece of sh*t.
I listened to you cry about him for weeks and comforted you via group text.
But, if I have to listen to another tirade about how youre better off without him and how much hes losing out, I will zone out.
Tonight is about having fun, getting drunk and dancing like idiots.
Stop ruining it by thinking about your ex.
5. Thou shalt take off your heels if your friends do the same.
If your girl is over the whole heels thing, you better kick off your Giuseppes andjoin her.
She’s given up on looking chic, so you will follow suit. Be short together.
Also, theres no bonding experience quite like stepping on something sticky at the same time.
6. Thou shalt always share your going-out clothes.
Its the sisterhood of the traveling LBD.
If your girl has no idea what the f*ck to wear, you loan her a dress. If shes not loving her skirt, you give her yours.
Sharing is caring, ladies.
Nothing is off-limits, not eventhe All Saints leather mini you havent taken the tags off yet.
Friendship is about sacrifice. Besides, whats yours is hers.
That is, until she spills wine on your Helmut Lang.
Then, you can kill her.
7. Thou shalt always tell her if her makeup looks like sh*t.
If its before midnight and youre still moderately sober, its your job as a soul sister to tell her if her lipstick is all over her teeth or if her eyeliner creased up to her eyebrows.
Also, its your duty as a citizen of this earth to tell her if too much body glitter is really too much body glitter.
Spoiler alert, it’s always too much body glitter.
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